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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Old as the Hills Rant

I think it is highly likely that a Darwinian imperative was built into the whole heterosexual mating thing
(well duh...)
But the one I refer to specifically is the
body warmth issue.

I've done some of my own highly sophisticated research.
Based on my randomized clinical trials
(the ones in my active imagination)
men seem to run one or two snitches warmer than women.

Women are generally softer,
understand the religion of chocolate and inexplicably small handbags AND well, have a number of excellent qualities.

Without the body heat issue
why else would women want to get in bed with men
 even if they watch sports all night long
 and begin to master the Little-John comb over on their receding mullet?

Profundity at its best here faire reader.

In general,
I'm pretty thrilled with the sweetie I've got.
But in this one regard
(OK, maybe there is another)
he is sadly lacking.
He gets into bed after me these days,
and therefore hoards all his body heat,
thereby denying me my rightful bed heating system.

The injustice is stupefying.

While I am I modern woman and I guess I could always switch teams,
as I've said before I do appreciate the mate I've got
the she's still wouldn't address the cold toes issues.

And so,
(I can't believe you're still with me here)

This is a crafty blog after all.

For those of you who wish this was a flask cover,
I say hear hear!

For those of you hanging your head in quiet pity or ccommiseration
you know it's a water bottle cover.

Pretty sure I just heard my great great grandmothers osteoporosis
taking residence in my curmudgeonly soul

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